Ask the Provider Blog
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How should a parent handle it when their child has a temper tantrum?
Temper tantrums are thoroughly normal anytime after your child turns one
year. They generally peak between 18 mos and 2-1/2 yrs, and then
gradually fade away as your child learns more mature ways to express
wants and frustrations. Toddlers are learning skills so fast that they
get a bit intoxicated with how powerful they are, or think they ought to
be, and will try to control their parents just as they are trying to
exert an effect on the rest of their world.
The tantrum is usually brought on by someone saying "no", so the
first response is to choose your battles. Say yes when you can, and you
will be setting a good example of how to be an agreeable, responsive
human being. Try to give your child choices, or other options, and try
to say, "No, you can't have the glass vase, but let's go play with your
blocks together ( and then hide the glass vase!). This is called
"redirecting", or just distracting your toddler, and works for awhile
but then they catch on. That's when it's important to have said "No"
only when you mean to stick to it.
Make sure your child isn't acting up simply because she isn't
getting enough attention. To a child, negative attention (a parent's
response to a tantrum) is better than no attention at all. Try to catch your child being good, which
means rewarding her with attention and lots of praise for positive behavior.
It's
important to set strict limits regarding safety, aggressive or
dangerous behavior. If a tantrum ensues, at that point, you can
acknowledge your child's feelings ("I know you're mad"), but reiterate
the limit you've set ("but hitting is not allowed in our house").
Then, turn away, and IGNORE that tantrum. If your child bangs his head
or throws up, he's raising the ante, but you need to REMAIN CALM, put
him in a safe crib or playpen or childproof room, or just hold him
without talking about the behavior. This is no time for a discussion or
negotiation, as those words won't be heard at all. If a tantrum is
escalated, and then you finally give in, you are teaching your child
that tantrums work, a very bad lesson.
Keep in mind that tantrums are MUCH more frequent when your child is
hungry, tired or bored, so keeping up routines and being consistent is
very important, especially around meals, naptimes and bedtimes, and
activities. Remaining calm can be really, really hard sometimes - don't
let that mood be contagious! Try mentally channeling your most admired
calm supportive role model (preschool teacher, star babysitter, firm
unflappable grandparent, etc).
A fun and helpful book is The Happiest Toddler on the Block, by Harvey Karp, M.D.
When and where is it appropriate to get my child's ears pierced?
My daughter will be turning 5 soon and is interested in getting her ears pierced. Where is a safe place to take her? Also, I have heard in the past that I should have had them pierced when she was a baby, because she would not feel anything. I don't agree morally with that suggestion, however, is that true?
How can I best remove a tick from my child's body?
I had to make an office visit once for a pesky tick that had adhered itself to my sons head and wasn't coming off after many unsuccessful attempts. Dr Bartlett came into the room armed with a fabulous device that looked slightly more engineered than basic tweezers, but within seconds that very cool tool had that tick off my boy and I was dazzled. She said the tool was from Europe and worked like a charm. Could you please track down the name of this handy dandy little item. My efforts on google have been nil. Thanks in advance.
Do you have any tips for relieving teething pain?
Is it OK to give an ice pop made of 100% fruit juice to a 7 month old teething baby?
What risks are associated with delaying fluoride treatment until one year of age (or longer)?
One of your providers recommended that at my daughter's six-month visit, she should start taking fluoride supplements. The internet is full of all kinds of anti-fluoride sites, some of which sound as convincing as the pro-fluoride sites. Both sides agree that too much fluoride is harmful; my question is (1) when did it become common practice to administer fluoride so early and (2) what is the harm in waiting until she is a year old - or five, for that matter?
How do I ensure proper medical care of my children while left in the care of their grandparents?
My in-laws are planning to take care of our kids for 6 days when we are traveling. We won't be out of the country but rather in Boston and then California. My mother-in-law is insisting we sign a power of attorney allowing for them to make medical decisions and for medical care. We don't feel it is necessary. We actually feel uncomfortable with it as we would want control over any emergency medical decisions. What advice can you give us? Thanks!
When can I take the baby gates down?
My daughter just turned two and she is safely walking up and down the stairs while holding onto the rail. She has been trying to climb over the baby gate at the top of the stairs. Should I just take the gates down now? At what age is it safe to remove them?
How much milk should I feed my one-year-old?
My daughter is 11 months old, and we're looking forward to the big milestone of her first birthday. She is now eating 3 meals a day, along with 4 bottles of formula (total of around 19 oz.) in a 24 hour period. I would like to stop the formula once she's 1, and replace this with cow's milk. How much to give her in a 24 hour period? She is fond of yogurt and cheese and cottage cheese, which she eats as part of her regular meals.
How do you calculate my child's growth percentiles?
What method do you use to calculate height and weight percentiles? There are so many different calculators online that I can't seem to find anything that matches the numbers I got at my appointment.
Are pet reptiles a risk for infection?
I'm the mother of 3 children who are patients at NAP. I work in a microbiology lab and have been struck lately by the number of salmonella cases in small children (and infants!) where there have been pet reptiles in the home. I'm sending you some links of posters/information sheets that I'm hoping you'll consider posting in your offices.
Are sunscreens safe?
I've heard a few people comment about the use of sunscreen and it's potential to cause cancer. I've always thought it was to prevent sunburn, which would decrease the chance of developing skin cancer. So, should I use it on my children?? I'm confused!
Are generic brands of Tylenol safe?
What should I give my daughter for teething now that the Tylenol has been recalled?
Can I really have mono if I don't have any symptoms?
I am a 21 year old college student who is one the school’s track team. I am a distance runner and love to run. On April 1st, I was diagnosed with mono though I did not have any symptoms. On April 5th I was cleared to do some light exercises. These went extremely well and I did not feel any abnormal fatigue. On April 12th I was cleared to run again, just 11 days after I was first diagnosed. I have now had two easy five mile days and feel better than ever. I am confused about what to do. People are saying I should take it easy so the mono doesn’t come back but I never had a sore throat or fatigue. Is it possible it went away all ready? Do I need to be careful so it doesn’t come back?
How do I eliminate my daughter's last bottle of the day?
My daughter is almost 15 months old. She can drink from a sippy cup and out of a regular cup with help. We weaned from nursing at 13 months and at a year started switching from a bottle to cup, getting it down to one bottle at night during her bedtime routine. When should we drop this last bottle? How should we do it? Thanks.
What are the recommendations for using a booster seat?
My son is 3 years 10 months, 41 pounds and 37 inches. Is it the right time to put him in a booster seat?
Should I be concerned if my three year old is toe walking?
Our three year old occasionally walks/runs on her toes. The preschool has commented that toe walking can be a sign of sensory problems. Should we be concerned?
How do I make sure my daughter is OK to dance ballet?
What are the requirements for going on toe shoes for ballet without hurting yourself?
How can I tell if my child is allergic to a food?
My daughter had a bowl of fresh pineapple and within minutes began complaining that her tongue was stinging. Her taste buds look raised and red. I had her drink some milk, but she still has discomfort. Should I be concerned about this?
I am concerned about my daughter's hygiene. What can I do?
I have an 11 year old who refuses to take a shower and she finally gives in twice a week if I’m lucky. Her hair is greasy and yet she doesn’t seem to be bothered with it. I am a single parent and I am choosing my battles right now. What am I to do?
What can I do about my daughter's gas?
My five year old daughter has very serious problems with gas. She has been kicked out of private school because of this. It is becoming a serious problem and we don’t know what to do. Anti-gas medicines don’t help.
